On the Importance of Writing for the Family

Life goes on. Those who make a difference tend to look forward, not back. And life is full and dealing with the present stresses most of our coping skills. So who has time to give a glance to a book you write for your family – the musings, recollections and thoughts of an earlier life?
Making life better for others is the essence of life. If we are lucky, making it better for others will be in our leavings long after we are gone. It may be in a structure, be it skyscraper or mall, that celebrates beauty life and light; it is in the poetry that years later leads a hearts to sing and in the prose that inspires unborn generations to new heights. In my own case, I am hopeful it is in the generations of families that pass on Love and Logic techniques to make life more pleasant and fulfilling. I am hopeful that it is passed through the generations in the families and children that I have counseled.

But some things are passed on whether we wish or will it. I see my own smile in a grandson’s face. I see my wife’s mother in the expression and offhand responses of granddaughters. I look at the way my children hold their hands when stressed, arms stiff and hands out horizontally, in a posture that my brother and I laughingly named after our mom, calling it “The Mildred.” In addition to these physical attributes, there are behavioral attitudes, interests and talents that certainly reside in the twists in the alleles of that all important DNA helix. The ability to draw, passed on from Mildred Cline to Robin Kelly and her children. The love of speaking and counseling others passed on through generations of Clines who were pastors of the Church of the Brethren and now lives on in my two sons, Andrew and Winfield.

In addition to these inevitable gifts that we pass on, deep in the soul of many of us, there burns a curiosity about the lives of those who have lit the way before us. Those who have gone before are like candles that have passed their flame onto future generations. There are times we pause to wonder about those earlier flames, especially when the wax of our own candles contains identical twists of the genetic helix passed on through related generations.
Hermie, my wife of nearly 50 years now, and I have both wished that our parents passed on more of their memories to us. And after the passing of our parents, how many of us, pausing at some unknown of the past are suddenly hit with the wish, “Darn! I wish I had asked my dad about that!?”

So take a few minutes every week month to jot down thoughts, memories and happenings that you would like to pass on to children and great grandchildren. It may simply be an annotation and stories about your favorite pictures. Surprisingly, the more you write, the more worthwhile things you will have to say!